When Does It End?

Last night watching television I saw three young, adult men hanging out with each other just talking. They were brothers. I turned to Jason and said, "Let's have another child." He looked at me with this "Whatcha talkin' 'bout Willis" look. I explained to him that it would be really cool to give Andrew and Patrick another brother (or sister to look after) to play with and have as a friend/sibling when they are older. Well, Jason didn't think that having another baby was a good idea. I agreed with him- especially during these economic times but it sure would be awesome.

Last week I looked out the kitchen window and saw the boys on the swings. My oldest was swinging so high. My youngest was sitting there with a huge frown on his face, very still. I knew he wanted to be pushed but he needed to come and ask me. So I waited. He never came. The next time I looked out there Andrew (7) was pushing Patrick (4) as high as he would go. Patrick was in full, head-back laughter. I loved watching them.

Then yesterday the boys were working together to clean up their blocks. Patrick turns to Andrew and says, "Andrew, are you my best friend?" Andrew responded, "Yes. I am your best friend." Patrick said, "Well, what about David." Andrew- "No, not David. You are my best friend Patrick." Does it get any better than that?

These are the moments that I say to myself, "Maybe just one more." I could deal with the bottles, pacifiers and plastic stuff all over the house again. I could deal with the late nights, the car seat, the stroller...I guess I just don't want these moments to slip away. I worry that there won't be more of the same to follow.

I bet three is great. I bet four is great. Five... not so sure. But two is AWESOME. Especially my two. Andrew is always loving and making sure everyone feels good and is happy. Patrick is choosy with his affection. He doles it out during unexpected times.

I'm going to sit tight (see picture above) with what I have - two very happy, healthy boys. Every day they bring something new to the table- a challenge, an idea, a brilliant thought.

So when does it end? When do I stop wanting more? Perhaps the idea of having more children will always be in the back of my head.
I guess I need to just look at this picture and remind myself of the happiness that I felt at that moment (and so many other moments). There is just so much love that it fills me up.

Motherhood has been the most wonderful experience of my entire life- nothing tops it. So there are times when I want to start from scratch and do it all over again. But for right now I am going to savor this time with my little guys and give them as much of me as possible.

If I post another blog on this topic will you just comment back- "Potty training!!!!!"